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Thanks to me having to write a review of a movie, Paul and I saw N poleon dynamite today. (Although we didn't see much, seeing as though we were making out and fooling around the whole time). Hohohoho but it twas a bootylicious movie in terms of comedy. I recommend everyone views it. And thanks to my mom's strict orders to "come home immediatly after the movie ends" I went home immediatly after the movie ended. The rest of the afternoon was made up of my trying to convince my dad on this awesome Honda Prelude, seeing as though I need a car because my sister is getting my current one. It's an awesome five-speed, and we all know chicks dig the five speeds. Other than that my family came over for a barbecizzie, seemingly like they do every other weekend. At least I sold 60 bucks in raffle.
And as I'm currently watching the VMA's with my sister, Usher is performing. And that means my sister is flipping out with immense excitment, calling all her friends, performing rituals, dancing, worshiping idols, etc. I mean what is all the excitment about? He's dec. looking, nice body, and a pretty good singer. Not enough to dedicate your life to. Now Britney Spears on the other hand...

Suburban Shock Disease

I just got home from the first SSS show ever. (Technically there have been others, but they didn't matter because I wasn't there.) And although I'm not too into the whole punky mc punk punk jr. scene, it was enjoyable because some cool people went, I was dedicated a song, and Brian and I got to push our favorite band Greenwheel.
If you are looking to attend an event filled with basically normal and uninteresting people, punk shows are not what you're looking for. Some crazy people attend them, some are cool and crazy, but others are just stupid "i'm a rebel hence i have a mohawk" crazy. It's really a mixed bag. You see people that you know are psuedo-rebels with their spiky/mohawk/colored/fugly hair, less than jake/blink 182/good charlotte/SSS shirts and rank boots and chains in random places. What is the point of having those chains? I don't get it. This must go through people's minds before: "Hmm, my mommy made me clean my room. I'm not like other kids, i'm unique and interesting, i shouldn't have to clean my room. i think if i put on these chains people will see how individualistic i am. lol. i hate my mommy and daddy." Shut up, take your chains off, and go fuckin' clean your damn room. I hate when people think that they are so 'different' from everyone else. Well either you really are different, and your just wierd, or you aren't different, you just think you are. Probably the latter.
Anyway we hitty mc hit hit the Frontier after (i know big surprise). If there is one thing I know, it's that you will never go to Frontier and not see at least one hot ass chick. Anyway that's basically it, except once Paul and I complete our startup small t-shirt business, everyone must buy one or two or 29. Details later...

Base she's dec

I have to write another post, half because I'm bored at like 2 in the morning, and half because if I didn't I would be left at unlucky 13 posts. This post is about using as many abbreviations as you can, at all times (save freestyling, where it's cool to not shorten words). Examples of abbrevizzies include: base, dec, perf, sexy (short for Richie Lampasi) and wak (short for Andrea). I'm kiiiiiddddddiiiiinnnnngggg!!!!!!!! N E Way, (hoho I'm cool because I didn't have to type the whole word) if I see anyone using the full words when there are obvious abbres, I'll set them up on a blind date with Fonas. Hoho even that was a bit mean for me, sorry fone.

I hate short skirts...................*nudge nudge wink*

Wow. Tonizzie we tapped the Sarto football game against the Moriarty Pintos or whatever they are. Base the score was closer to 2445 to 0 than 3 to 3. I kind of feel bad for Moriar Mc Moriarty Jr. You just know none of those Moriarty players are gonna get laid tonite. Conversation between Moriarty place kicker and girlfriend: "So you wanna tap or what." "Uggh get off me. You lost by like 53 points. You aren't getting shit tonite. Oh yea and you're the sad placekicker." "But baby you're on the sad drill team, you aren't even a cheerleader." "I don't care, I'm having an orgy with the S-pix football team. And then I'm tapping Richie Lampasi, because he's just very attractive." Base that's how the convo went.

So everyone was at the game, and it was mostly fun because, much like the luau, no one wasn't wearing skimpy clothes. Even Fonas had on a bikini man-thong. So it was a mostly rockin' time, except for when I got yelled at by like 3 fugly football dads. I was just walking down an isle, and this fugly dad of some player was like "Hey move it kid, I can't see my son sit on the bench." You know it was the type of dad who won't settle until his son goes to Princeton on a football scholorship, leading the life he never got to have... He'll go to all of his son's football games, but other than that, like when ol' Billy has an honors convention, or a piano recital, he's sittin' on the couch drinkin' Old Milwaukee. And just like the cliche goes, the son always says things like "Dad, I'm not you! I don't want your life!" after his dad puts up a Princeton football banner in his son's room.

Anyway after the gizzie we went to eat. It could be one of two places: 1) IHOP or 2) Frontier. Check number two please. So the whole nite we just bust out awesome freestyles, and like 25 thuggers congradulate us and invite Paul and I to join their thugger rapping crew. Actually the freestlyes are quite sad. Example of my freestyle: "I took Paul's mom, on a date; I think she's pregnant, her period's late!!!!!" or another "I got some cheese, who has a grate; Paul's mom gave me a beej before we procreate!!!" Yep folks I'm here all week.

I'm buffed out like my car after a good wax

Base. working out is the best damn thing you can do to give yourself extra confidence/self-esteem. (Not that I'm lacking, but it's still nice). So I just worked out, and I moved up in weight, and right after a workout you look so freakin' buff that if i was looking at a mirror of only my body I would think I was Hulk Hogan. Of course the pumpage will wear off by tommorow, but right after a workout you look absolutely ripped. Working out's hard, but the results are mos def worth it. Over summer break I went from base. no real muscle to at least something.
That reminds me, I have to take my roids. I predict in a week I'll be able to kick like 25 buff guy's asses. If you are a buff guy reading this, my name is Paul Osterlund. Come find me dickhead, and I'll lay my fist to your face so hard you can buy me a ring because my ring-size is now imprinted on your face. I'm out like Ryan after two minutes...

I have to clean my mouth out with soap

From now on I better clean up my posts a bit, or else my parents will flip out. I mistakenly let them see my last post, and they weren't too pleased to say the least. So my posts will still kick like 535 asses, but in a more cheerful and pleasant way!

Advertisments suck

Man, I was so pissed today. You wanna know why? Well if you do, great. If you don't, then I don't give a shit. Okay this is what happened. So I was daydreaming in Tony "the cheerful fascist's" class on Teusday probably about tapping some hot chick. Anyway all of a sudden my fugly phone rings. I pulled it out and only got to see it was a text message before the cheerful fascist yanked it, and happily said, "Well I appreciate your honesty in the matter, and that's whats really important! However, since I masturbate after handing out detentions, I'm going to have to write this one up." So the stupid rule says that a parent has to go pick it up from school. My parents were too lazy, or as they said 'were busy' so my great uncle Emil did. I picked it up from his house today, and I opened it to find the message said something like "Hi! Would you like to upgrade your Sprint PCS vision service to deluxe and pay way more money for shit no one ever needs but only think they do? Well if so, respond to this text which has caused you more grief than your hamster running away ten years ago." Seriously, I already have texting, a pic phone, and like 49 other useless features, why the hell would I upgrade for more shit for more money? I don't get it.
Every time a phone company comes out with new shit, people run to their local radio shack to be the first thugger on the block with instant phone texting mail service or something stupid like that. I mean c'mon, why do people need NASA computers on their phone? Whatever happened to using your phone for calling people. Sure some of the technology is slick, but too much is too much. I don't know why they even call it a phone. They should be selling mini-computers. I want to see a guy holding up a fuckin' laptop to his head, "Can you hear me now pencil-dick?"
What's the deal with that guy anyway? You know he's a douchebag who doesn't have anything else to do but wear stupid glasses and annoy people who don't care that they can talk for 3 extra minutes between the hours of 4 and 5 if the moon is shining and there are 34 clouds in the sky. Thanks for nothing cell phones.

I'm a trendsetter

Basically like 902 people have created blogspots thanks to my influence. People read my blog and are like "wow maybe if i create a blog i can be as cool and hip and attractive as Richie is. rolflmao lol"

Chicks hate pics of themselves

So I got this awesome new camera phone, and i decided to take advantage of the sick feature of pictures coming up when people call (their pic). So I've been going around and taking pictures of people on my contact list. But I have just run into a snag: chicks hate having their pictures taken. Just today when I was trying to take pics of two girls, they flat out refused to have thier pic taken. I just don't get it. Please stop bieng so self-consciouss. Please. You're probably really hot anyway.

We are jackasses

Oh man doing wak ass shit is the funnest thing ever. Today we went up to Brian's dormizzie at UNM. (We bieng Paul and I). So Brian has this awesome huge foam cowboy hat not unlike the famous hat from the Jeopardy skit on SNL with Burt Reynolds as "Turd Fergusen". So we decided to take a walk down central and across the UNM campus. But the thing is, I put on the hat so it totally covered my face, and proceeded to slump down like i was sleep walking. Like the good friends they are, Brian and Paul guided me around, occasionally saying things like "don't listen to the voices in your head" and "c'mon little Richie, it'll be okay" and "he has a serious condition", and I occasionally said things like "I'm Superman!" and "Please stop the voices!" and randomly swinging my fists at absolutely nothing. Some people looked wierd, some tried not to look, and some laughed, but it was most funny for us. I think my senior year should be filled with doing jackasses but still hilarious shit ala that. Anyway I just had to write a post about that. I'm sure it would've been funnier if you were there...

J-E-T-S

I don't know if anyone likes football too much, but I just had to comment on the New York Jets. They basically demolished the Colts today, and if everyone stays healthy, I predict a division title, or at least a wild card. The exiting Jets are a site for my sore eyes, seeing as though the NY Mets (baseball) have been horrendous. Go Jets! Okey dokey there's my "I'm exited about the new season" rant.

I love hip-hop

So friday was the annual Luao dance at Spix (Pius), and basically there wasn't anyone who didn't show. And that was a good thing. It was a sick dance, mostly because I saw approximately 3 girls not wearing short skirts. And I'll tell you what, short skirts can turn girls who are not very or marginaly attractive into absolute foxes. Hell, I saw a few guys who almost looked pretty in 'em. I didn't follow my plan of dancing with some hot new freshman, but it was dec. all the same, because I didn't dance with anyone who was wak. After we had used up all of our dance juices, we hit IHOP speech and debate style. Basically as usual we were really loud and obnoxious, and lots of old couples (why are they even there at midnite?) stared at us like they couldn't enjoy their liver and onions because we were there. It was an all out rockin' time basically. If anyone ever gets a chance to go to a Luao dance, or any of the sort, I highly recommend it.

School's back kids!

Hip Hip Hooray!!! I'm actually more hyped up for school than usual, not only because I'm now king of the school as a senior (and totally get to wear colored polos, which means that I'm cool), but also senior year should be the sickest ever. If it wasn't for fugly AP Calc and Physics, I would be even happier. Oh well, you win some you lose some...

Don't Mind This

Just trying to transform the modulator to the connected database of the network...

Wow this is fun

Although no one has read my last post, or even this one, and maybe about 10 total people will, entering posts is my new favorite internet blog hobby. That's it.

This is the cool thing to do, duh...

It's always been my dream to have my own internet blog, and now I have finally realized my fantasy! Actually I just did this so I could post comments on other poeple's... Anyway I hope to make this the number one ranked website in terms of visits by the end of the year, surpassing Yahoo, Google and all the rest. Most blogs are sick, so I thought I'd give it a try-try Mctry try jr. And that concludes my historic first post!